Jeff certainly didn’t mean to be drawing his last breath last week. More likely, he was happy to see old “friends” who encouraged him to indulge in his old ways. He was probably looking forward to a rush, an intensely pleasurable feeling. Drugs were fun, but he had been clean too long. At his funeral, his dad said he was the type to leap before he looked.
Getting clean hadn’t been easy. I was told that sometimes he attended up to four 12 step meetings in a day, one day at a time. It gave him hope that he would be able to get his life back on track. He was loved and lovable. Not a bad person, but unfortunately capable of making bad decisions. He burnt the candle at both ends for 31 years.
As he lay there he probably realized something had gone wrong. His last “oh shit” moment. He’s inadvertently killed himself and now it’s killing his parents and his siblings who have to carry on. Rest in peace young man.